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One man's perspective

So have you ever wondered what guys think about shoes? I mean, we ladies spend so so much time on shoe shopping and picking out just the right heel with our dresses or jeans--which heels make our legs look long & lean, and which heels add a splash of color to a simple outfit, etc. etc. But what does the everyday man think of when it comes to shoes? Does he even notice? Does he really get why we spend a good amount of our hard-earned dough on shoes (and not video games or gadgets or flat screen TVs)?

Well, my dear brother-in-law, Jeff, who's not only a stand-up comedian, but a motivational speaker and one of the creators of the hilarious website, offered to review these killer 4-inch platform GUESS 'Hondo' heels I've been eyeing, and I thought, hey what the heck! So guys: enjoy this refreshing male take on shoes...and gals: listen up to one funny shoe reality check!

holly in heels
This shoe is made by Guess. It looks nice. It isn’t too crazy like other shoes I see women wear. This has just one buckle rather than 20. And unlike some women’s shoes, it has classic colors, not “purple frog skin” or something equally from the future. Also, the heel is just a couple inches and so doesn’t affect the wearer’s height too much. When you see women on a regular basis and then one day she wears big heels it messes with your world for a split second. As a guy your mind doesn’t go right to “oh she is wearing different shoes,” you think “SOMETHING IS WRONG, and I MUST PROTECT MYSELF FROM THIS BIGGER PERSON.” These shoes wouldn’t do that.

I think women could wear these shoe most places without soft grass, mud or sand. If they were to wear them in those “soft ground situations”, I think the heel would sink into the ground or the person wearing them would have to walk on their toes. If they walked on their toes for too long then they would ask the guy they were with to always take a break or sit down. That gets annoying. That combined with always needing to pee would mean the day in these shoes would consist of:

20 percent = normal social activities
80 percent = going to the bathroom, looking for a bathroom, or taking a break while in search for a bathroom.

And 90 bucks isn’t bad for good shoes. I paid 100 bucks for some really good hiking boots, and they work great even when ground is soft. And they are water-resistant. In my opinion, save up 10 more bucks, go to REI and get the boots.

Good shoes though Holly.

...for more funny banter, do make sure you check out


  1. Pretty shoes are pretty painful, but what wasn't mentioned here is also how slow shoes like this make a girl. They might be taller but their gate is a good half as short with big shoes on. Meaning the man has to really think about walking when walking with a girl in big shoes, and every girl knows how little guys like to think! So, wear these bad boys when you go to dinner with close parking, and leave the hikes to the REI boots suggested above.

  2. Cute shoes, but I'd prefer the REI boots...or at least something with a shorter heel that wouldn't tear the ligament in my other foot, the only remaining good one. ;-)

  3. Those were Tayler's shoes she wore for her graduation lol!! I tried them on and they weren't very comfortble, but they are sooo cute! <3 Whitney

  4. OMG, I about died at the hiking boots mention. Too cute!

  5. Jeff, I am proud you are my brother. And, Trevor - you too. You guys are right. Particularly about the slow-paced walking, the increased height (which is why I try not to wear shoes this tall in order to avoid 'accidental tranny look-a-like' scenarios - this is the curse of being an already-tall woman!)- And, seriously, the 'need to pee all the time + tall shoes = needing frequent breaks' is SO TRUE... Ahh, Trevor, remember needing to walk the extra 2 blocks with Tim to get the car so Holly could keep me company while I had a 'break' from my tall shoes when we went to the District Lounge??? But DANG IT - those teal Moschino pumps with the ladybugs on the toes were SO worth it! ha ha ha... Women. We don't make any sense. I know. And that is why we mesmerize you and you love us.

  6. Haha, this was hilarious. I'd love to take his advice but nature makes me nervous and REI is just a little too much like the wilderness for me to actually go inside... Love these heels, though -- darling!
    xo Josie

  7. My experience is that the more expensive the shoes, the more able I am to actually WALK in them!

  8. Denalee that is dangerous logic... that I feel just made every woman reading this blog nodd in agreement.

  9. those are great, I really like them

  10. I think Jeff needs a regular spot on the blog! I'm sure this would help to give some of the girls a bit more perspective on things...or maybe not!


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