Many of you know I've had a slight Anthropologie obsession lately--all of their vintage-y looks have been catching my eye and stealing my heart straightaway! Well, to tie you over while I'm still on my Hawaiian vacation, I decided to let my comedian bro-in-law do another little shoe review--Anthropologie style (you remember his last review, don't ya?)! I have to admit that I gave him a shoe to review that wasn't your mainstream, everyday shoe...but I really do like this Scarlet & Crimson Wedge from Anthro. Here's a little glimpse into the mind of one man when it comes to shoes...enjoy & aloha!
holly in heels
These shoes are from a store called Anthropologie. No man likes Anthropologie. We don't like it, because it isn’t a word! It is just some random, expensive-sounding group of letters. I am ok with Nordstrom, 'cause that sounds like a persons name. I am fine with any thrift store, because thrift is a word. And I am even fine with H&M because it sounds like m&m. I can distract myself for at least 10 minutes of shopping with the idea that I might get some m&m’s later. BUT Anthropologie is a nonexistent word. Trust me, my spell-check is running out of red underlines as I keep typing the name of this MAGIC store.
“Hey Jeff lets go shopping at Anthropologie.”
“Don’t you mean Anthropology... the study of humanity?”
“No Jeff, I meant Anthropologie, the study of crusty looking candle holders that cost over 20 bucks.” example
Everything in this store looks like it is misplaced in history, as if it is trying to be a time-travelers garage sale. Everything is “brand new” but is meant to look intentionally vintage. You might have assumed (like the rest of us) that antiques are just normal things that have aged. BUT NOPE. Antiques are born here, and are weird, rusty, and over-priced right from the start.
The mentioning of weirdness gets me to this shoe. I don’t mind this shoe entirely. I like funky things. Hell, I even like hummingbirds pattern on the of the inside of a shoe. But when we get down to it, this shoe is expensive for what it is. It costs 160 bucks for something that looks likes an Alice in Wonderland stage prop. And I say that as fact, not as an insult. I really think the person who made this shoe thought, “Lets ride the wave of the Tim Burton movie coming out. Make that shoe look like an acid trip.”
Now that I have been around a woman for at least 3 weeks of my life (rough estimate), I think I know why they might want these shoes. Women would buy this shoe so that other women might say “hey those shoes are so CUTE.” But I also know what cute means: “Those shoes are weirder than the rest of your outfit and I need to make my glaring at them seem like a compliment.” And if that is your goal, then there are plenty of shoes out there that cost less that would do the same thing. I suggest that you get some keds...slap some glitter on ‘em and watch the comments flood in. Seriously, women will call anything that is shiny or weird "cute". ANYTHING. It is just how most women work. I helped a female friend pick out a new car based entirely on COLOR! She didn’t care about anything but the shininess & cuteness, and she ended up with a neon green Geo Metro.
Guys are the opposite. I have a friend who uses old postal boxes instead of actual drawers and cabinets cause “they are free and sturdier.” It makes him look homeless in his own home. So women are crazy, but guys are dumb.
Not as dumb as the guy who named this place Anthropologie. Only place I distrust more is: Sur La Table. Luckily they don’t sell shoes.
Nice shoes though Holly.